In love service

With Ruby May

In Love & Service
With Ruby May


Ruby May warmly invites you to join her on a journey deep into the human psyche and heart: an embodied exploration of the nature of eros and desire, our relationship to power, vulnerability and the simple beauty of play. In Love and Service is a weekend workshop exploring the erotic alchemy of female dominance and male service* and its potential for pleasure, expansion and personal and collective healing.


CHAI Læssøesgade 14, baghuset
2200 København N


Friday, October 7, 2016 at 19.00-22.00
Saturday, October 8, 2016 at 11.00-20.00
Sunday, October 9, 2016 at 10.00-18.00

Price: 1950 DKK per person
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Cancellation policy:
If cancelled more than 7 days before the workshop starts: FULL REFUND,
if cancelled less than 7 days before the workshop starts: 50% refund
if cancelled less than 24 hours before the workshop starts: 20% refund



Our perception of ‘femdom’ – female dominance – often full of stereotypes and clichés, is a heavily charged subject, shrouded in taboo and shame in our mainstream society. The submissive man represents the antithesis of what a ‘real’ man is supposed to be like. The dominant woman, often depicted as cold and unapproachable and full of contempt for men, seems one-dimensional and almost a figment of male fantasy, rather than real.

When we let go of our preconceived ideas, judgements and projections to reveal the essence of the dynamic – simply one individual who is leading and one who is following – we discover a fundamental polarity which exists in all of us, and something that everyone has the potential to take delight in!

Using our presence, our curiosity for truth and the compass of our desire, we will explore the potent dynamic of female erotic leadership and male service, seeing how it not only offers ample opportunity for excitement, playfulness, creativity and juiciness, but also for peeling away our conditioning around gender, exploring new or lesser known facets of our being and opening the door to great intimacy, learning and growth.

As a woman in the leadership position, we learn to connect deeply with ourselves, our desires and inner wisdom. We practise cultivating confidence, and learn to find ease and joy in our communication. Our assertiveness might lead us to ask for exactly the touch we crave, or lead us into focusing on and enjoying our submissive in exactly the ways we choose, perhaps discovering the ‘penetrator’ or ‘ravisher’ in us.

We may confront our wounds around being too much or not enough, meet doubts around being worthy of receiving pleasure, and fears of being bossy or selfish. In our courage to allow our inner world to be revealed and expressed outwardly, we meet the power in our own vulnerability that comes from being true to ourselves.

As a man in the service position, we connect with the innate aspect of us that is deeply nourished by offering devotion and selflessness. We cultivate our ability to love, to offer our undivided attention and presence, to put our own ego and needs temporarily aside. We enjoy the freedom and pleasure of letting go – of allowing ourselves to be led, instructed and guided by another. Perhaps the tables are turned and we become the one who is taken, ravished or penetrated? We have a remarkable opportunity to enter deep into a woman’s innermost sanctum through our listening. The possibility to find out how she ticks, what she desires, how she wishes to be met, or to be pleasured. We practise our ability to see and honour the divine in whom we serve, allowing our devotion to be towards something greater than just the physical.

We may confront our wounds around fearing judgement by women or society deeming us as ‘weak’ or un-masculine. In our act of devotion and surrender, perhaps we come into contact with a different sense of personal power: a power that’s very different from the typical ‘power over’ dynamic we see so rampantly in the world around us.

In the intimate container we will create together, we will also make space for our shadows to be met – whether they be unconscious aspects of our personas that wish to emerge, suppressed desires, or unexpressed emotion towards the opposite gender. What happens during our erotic play, when we touch on resentment, disappointment or anger that wants to be expressed as the giving or receiving of punishment, objectification, humiliation, control or withdrawal? Using the illuminating light of our consciousness, these can be powerful opportunities for resolution and transformation.

Whether you identify as ‘kinky’ or not, are a novice or experienced, wish to come alone or with a partner, In Love and Service will take you on a journey deep within, balancing vulnerability with playfulness, depth with humour. As well as receiving the opportunity to explore the themes at hand – it will give us possibilities to practice and develop a whole range of other life skills: the ability to communicate effectively, learning how to identify and integrate disconnected parts of us, and cultivating deeper levels of presence, understanding and compassion towards ourselves and the world around us.

*Due to the theme, In Love and Service will consciously be facilitated as a gender-balanced space with an equal number of men and women. We welcome anyone who identifies as man/woman including trans folk!

In Love and service

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